A few weeks ago I posted about this song, Brave. I decided that it deserved another post because I truly think it is that amazing. This time around though it has to do with being brave while communicating. If you listen to the song again and think about the lyrics telling you to be brave enough to have difficult conversations (this can be anything that would be difficult for you to talk about) with people it has a whole new meaning.
I did my bachelor's in communication because I think it is so important in the family unit. I have always struggled with communicating and being brave about my true feelings and opinions. I had a boyfriend call me out on it in high school and I will be forever grateful for him telling me that. I have been trying to change since because of him bringing that weakness to my attention. I never had a strong opinion of my own. I would just agree with whomever to make peace and move on but not actually fix a relationship or deepen a relationship by stating my true feelings on a subject.
Speaking up has absolutely backfired many times when I choose to be brave and put my feelings out there. However, I have yet to truly regret ever choosing to be open. There have been too many good things that have come out from speaking up about something that I'm convinced that talking too much is still better than not talking at all. Being open is a very vulnerable thing and yet it is what can allow others in and heal relationships.
Example: I was (I've been trying to change :) ) the type of person would shut down completely when I was sad, mad, or irritated in some way. I would go in my room and attempt to lock out the world until I felt better. I would not say a word for hours no matter the questions I got asked. I just had to get over my bad mood and then I would come back out acting like nothing even happened.
This has been the most damaging attribute of mine to our marriage. Why? Because when I don't talk I am ultimately telling Nathan that my feelings are more important than his. I am ignoring his need to talk about whatever happened and shutting him out of my life for awhile. Don't get me wrong, it is important to calm down before communicating, but the difference is that I wouldn't even communicate after I felt better. I would just move on with life and ignore whatever issue was going on.... NOT COOL!
I have had to learn to communicate time frames when talking about sensitive subjects. For example I'll tell Nate I'm too upset to talk now but lets talk (insert time). Sometimes we won't resolve an issue for days or weeks but we will still remind each other to think about it. This way we can try to understand our own feelings toward the subject and then try to think of a way to help the other person understand our point of view. It has taken me years to get to this point in communicating but I feel like I have a deeper relationship with Nate and other people because of it.
There is another song that goes along perfectly with this topic called Walls. Check it out! It was another gem introduced to me by my high school boyfriend and while the singers are not outstanding the message certainly is. I probably have even shared it on here before but I don't even care because I love it. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment