Flashback

My thoughts all started with Kendrick drinking from a new formula that is extremely foamy.  As I was feeding him I was reminded of the baby bottles that some dolls had where the milk disappeared into the lid as you fed the baby doll. It reminded me how badly I wanted to be a mother as a little girl. I took such good care of my dolls and would dream of having my own real baby someday.

I remember specifically a time where one of my brothers had gotten upset with me and chucked one of my dolls out the door. It had hit a telephone pole and got a scratch on the top of it's head. I was in tears for days over it. I just couldn't believe that he had thrown my doll (I probably deserved it). In my mind he had thrown a living thing. He had hurt my baby.

As I was rocking Kendrick and was thinking back to the little me I am reminded at just how grateful I am to be a mother. I had dreamed about it for so long that at times it still feel surreal. Each moment I get to spend with Kendrick is even better than I could have dreamed up. I am overwhelmed with how happy motherhood has made me. I look forward to new mommy and son adventures and loving my son more and more every day.